*Edit: JFC, I’ve been physically ill at the thought that I was just trying to justify choosing something that was just shitty behavior. I haven’t even been all that comfortable talking to my therapist about it as much as I’ve needed to. And reading every single response (so far)… well i’m in literal tears over the relief I feel not being alone in thought. Thank you. *
To clarify, they want me to use the money to buy a duplex / other property for me take care of (for the entire place) and to renovate and to live in, while renting out the other unit/room/whathaveyou so that I don’t have to worry about property taxes or the basic necessities of life.
(feel free to ignore this paragraph explaining my anxities and ignorance)The entire topic of inheritance and the circumstances leading to one has caused several of my worst panic attacks when it has been brought up in the past. (Bad enough to require medication assistance to regulate) And thankfully, this family member was aware and stopped bringing it up as they were in the habit of doing. Over the last 2 years I’ve come a long way with my issue and getting help fortunately, which has proven to be useful in this context recently. Their health recently took a scary decline, I’ve been able to regulate myself in the discussions that have followed, within reason.
I haven’t yet been capable of asking the specifics on how much money it will be, or if there will be any trusts or whatever etc. And honestly, I don’t think I’ll be able to in the near future. But the way they talk about it, it sounds as though it will be enough to at (at least almost) pay for a small duplex type of situation.
I’m currently unhoused, and have been for over a year, so there is no love of capitalism in me, much less any desire to “be a landlord”. I feel very ethically convicted against becoming what I think of when I think of Landlords, even one of those local 2-3 property owning ones.
Unfortunately I feel that clashing with the rest of values surrounding honoring the wishes of what is currently my last surviving relative (who I still remain in contact with and love dearly). Not to mention whatever might be a part of any legal stuff pertaining to her will. (which I know hardly anything about and still makes me panicked just typing about)
My main question:
Is it ethical to own a property that I live in, provide the standard maintenance for, and work on renovating… and also rent out part of it?
I value my ethics, and part of that has always been assessing the nuances thoughtfully. When I think about the specifics of this, I find difficulty in framing that situation as the role of a landlord. Landlord being defined, at least the way I think about what a landlord is / the way other people use it.
My followup question:
Is anyone who is paid money that is for sure another person’s “rent money” considered a landlord, regardless of it being the only property they own? Even if they also live there?
*Edit 2: for only those in such a position, I have no shame sharing this link since the 1st time was many months ago https://gofund.me/9bd76285 *
In the city I live in there are a lot of larger old houses that have been split into three living units, one on each floor. Theres no way to buy individual floors of these houses so if you want to own it yourself you either rent out two units or take two units of liveable space out of the market.
Owner occupied small properties are probably the least offensive kind of landlording, and in the example above, taking two units off the local market because you want to make sure the ethics are in check likely means two families will end up with worse landlords.
From a technical standpoint its still probably not ‘ethical’ but neither is half the things we have to do daily to not die the way the system is set up. Child and forced labor exist deep in the supply chain of materials that goes into our goods and food. Underage undocumented migrants fill US meat factories too.
First and foremost though, physician heal thyself. If this is the way you have to get housing for yourself, house yourself. No one else is going to house you because your ethics are on point. Maybe im a bad anarchist for this one, but if this property is the difference between you having a house and not, dont sweat it too much. Our society doesn’t exactly shower us with housing choices these days.
I try. Oh Lord do I try. Every time I try to be kind to myself, its with the job of overcoming the years of reinforced guilt. Its my biggest hurddle in life. At least I’m able to choose kindness towards others day in and day out… thats gotta mean something 😅🥲
This may be cliche but your actions always extend further than you, the people to whom you chose kindness will help that kindness ripple out, and many won’t forget it. If we had the clarity to be able to see the entirety of the consequences of the actions we take like that we may just become overwhelmed with positive feelings for once.