I heard this as: “You can’t wake someone who’s pretending to be asleep.”

There’s been a recession start during every Republican presidency of my lifetime (I’m in my 40s). I predict that will continue and am planning my finances accordingly.

Leading economic indicators are slightly down: https://www.conference-board.org/topics/us-leading-indicators/

Economic sentiment (one example https://www.sca.isr.umich.edu/ ) is sharply down.

Predicting the economy is difficult, many different people bet real money both ways.

The best summarization I recommend considering is the discussion of the “K” shaped economy. Standards seem to be shifting, those with wealth seem to be doing well if not growing. Those at the margin or poorer seem to be getting worse. So you can have two true statements that the stock market is soaring and GDP is growing, AND most people are facing declining economic prospects.

I’m a stranger on the Internet, so don’t put too much weight on my analysis. Check historically reputable resources and even then take their predictions with a grain of salt.

Work on learning cooking techniques rather than recipes. There’s plenty of content. I’ll drop this as a starting point as it has a fair amount of content and focuses on moving away from just recipes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srMEoe_5y6g&t=75

Many other resources are available; it’s easy to turn $30 of varied ingredients into many different meals rather than just several portions of one thing.

More detailed background: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elasticity_(economics)

Price is rarely 1% for 1%. Some things people will still use in similar quantities even if there are high price increases (e.g. life saving medication). Others people will stop using even if there are small price changes.

Two of my favorite are from Antoine de Saint-Exupery:

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”

“We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” (Also attributed as a Native American proverb)

Pretty awesome & rare occurrence! I’ll add it to my bucket list; but realistically I’ll never see this in person :P

I hope I didn’t come across as joking. Bluey models probably the most wholesome parent-child relationships on television. Yes it’s acted out by cartoon dogs; but the scenarios hit home.

I’m a father of two; watching (and often emulating) Bluey has absolutely made me a better parent. It’s not all “go 100% with your kids all the time”; sometimes it’s “we have to stop playing so I can go to work” or “mom and dad are tired, let’s play a game where we don’t have to leave the couch” or “it seems we’re spending too much time watching TV or screens, how do we reconnect to the real world”. Yes, the irony of a TV show covering that last topic isn’t lost on me :P

Watch Bluey! It’s a kids show, but everyone should watch it.

The better to smell you with my dear.

After watching, I think this largely lines up with the impact of porn addiction being real and impactful, which I certainly don’t deny.

Likely the different emphasis is on the prevalence of internet porn addiction. He claims it’s more likely than gambling or other internet-related addictions; I wonder if that is consensus or if it’s maybe changed over time? From a societal level, I’m sure there’s more porn addiction than in the past (as he notes the availability, quality, and variety are significantly different than before the internet). But his talk implies a much larger scale than I would accept without validating the sources. From what I’m familiar with porn addiction isn’t much more or less prevalent than other internet related ones. Here’s one data point putting “cybersex” close to game addiction, but well below social media and smartphone: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35150965/ similar numbers here: https://virtual-addiction.com/technology-addiction-statistics-2024/ “Between 7 and 10% of people who watch online porn are addicted to it.”

Considering the data I’m familiar with: majority of people (in western societies) aren’t suffering the side effects of internet porn addiction and are still able to pursue typical life goals (finding a partner, marriage, children, etc). While we have seen some of these figures declining (marriage and having children). Or, these trends have been in place since before high speed internet (declining birthrates stem from the 60s in the US: https://datacommons.org/explore#q=birth+rate ). Marriage rates similarly declined well before the internet (and have stabilized in the past decade or so): https://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/loo-marriage-rate-US-geographic-variation-2022-fp-23-23.html

Specifically he mentions ED as a kind of “ultimate” symptom… unfortunately I don’t see a good timeseries for ED prevalence; even across studies the estimates vary quite a bit, so I’m not sure there’s a standard measurement with a long enough history to use… that’d be an interesting metric to consider if it were available though!

I’d have to go back and check what other studies on porn use used for control groups; as this talk states “there is no control group”… I think that is inaccurate. Even if control groups aren’t available, we can still measure impacts without a control group if we can reliably track quantity in some manner. It need not be just abstinence versus usage to conduct a valid study; we can compare high, medium, and low volumes of usage. We know the volumes at which over consumption of water is harmful even though there are no people who abstain from it!

Thanks again for linking; it had a few other references & citations I’ll continue to pursue. I appreciate the different perspective on the topic!

I’ve not seen it before, I’ll check it out. Thanks!

Here’s a long-form interview between a sex researcher and a urologist (MD) about how porn really effects us; both on an individual level; and in aggregate as a society. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEqe5dHuQYE

TLDR: Porn is a bit of an over-stimulation on the brain, but the scale of the effect is similar to caffeine or nicotine. Far less impactful than that of any hard drug like cocaine or heroine. And unlike a chemical stimulant, it’s impossible to overdoes. Some people have excessive reactions to watching porn and having it readily available, so things like porn addiction are real and shouldn’t be dismissed. But the frequency of this is low (far lower than nicotine, gambling, or alcohol as comparison points) and the severity of such addictions are often minor (addicts skip other social interactions, but are unlikely to go into debt or lose jobs except in the most extreme cases).

There is no strong evidence that early exposure to porn via the internet has significant adverse effects. There are worse effects from exposure to violent content (including violent porn) than pornography in general.

This makes sense as from an evolutionary standpoint seeing other naked humans is expected. It’s only recently (in evolutionary time frames) that we’d not expect children to see other naked humans regularly or be unexposed to sex at all until an adult age. From a biological standpoint it makes perfect sense that our brain can handle seeing other people engaged in sexual activity.

They’re working off of incorrect information & ideas. They think people will be better off not getting vaccinated. They genuinely think they’re doing a good thing. They don’t think we’ll have resurgences of diseases at any large scale because they don’t attribute the disappearance of those diseases to vaccines. They believe society will be relieved from some vaccine induced “side-effects” like increased autism (or 5G mind control… or whatever… it’s hard to keep track of their nonsense).

Since they accept the above falsehoods; they don’t need to “get” anything. They’re as certain stopping vaccinations will help the general population as I am that it will do harm. But some idiot(s) put them in charge so they get to execute on their campaign promises.

If you’re referring to things one can do alone: Hobbies! Pick up anything where the end result is something you’ve created. Every iteration you make improvements and get better and better stuff! Examples: Music or Art (learn an instrument, paint / craft decorations for your residence); Sewing or Knitting; Gardening; Woodworking (some of these can be expensive)…

Things you can do with others: Exercise (join a running or cycling group; rec sports team; etc…); Board Games; Video Games…

And if you do things with others you can also combat boredom by researching & discussing those things: look for new trails to run/ride; keep up to date on reviews for new trends in your hobby; discuss those same trends with your peers; etc…

A similar question was asked about 2 weeks ago; I was going to link to that but it was since deleted; so here’s a copy & paste of my reply instead. Note payment wasn’t raised in that discussion; my response to that would be: is potentially meeting people interested in dating you worth the fee (to me that answer was yes)? If a service provides value to me I’m happy to pay a reasonable amount.

A lot of negative comments. I went through a divorce last year (male, mid 40s), and used dating apps when I was ready to start meeting people. I was apprehensive going in but ended up shocked by how positive the results were. After a week or two I would have several matches and pause searching while I talked with those and planned in-person meetings. Most profiles you’ll never get a reply. Of those you match again, half likely never respond to initial introductions / questions. But, if you live in a major metro area there’s still plenty of people looking for relationships if you’re willing to filter through that. I’m now happily in a relationship for the past few months so I’ve stopped using these apps.

I tried 3: eHarmony, hinge, and bumble. Here’s my feedback from best to worse.

Hinge: encourages discussion as an initial match prompt. I met the most people on this app and many matches led to in person dates. Met the person I’m currently dating seriously on here.

Bumble: costs money to send a comment / question, free to “just swipe”. Kept showing me profiles for people currently within my search distance, but who have listed another major city as their home (I guess they’re connecting through the airport and on the app?). Went on multiple dates with matches, fewer than hinge.

eHarmony: where I originally met my previous wife ~20 years ago. Now had the fewest matches and worst experience (and highest cost). I stopped checking this one after about a month. Went on only 1 date.

Feedback from my matches about the app: many men are using it to find people to cheat with / aren’t serious about a relationship. All of them told me actually holding a conversation on the app put me in the “top tier” of their matches. Many shared that matches just gave super short answers then asked for a phone number. Several noted that half the time they shared a number they almost immediately received dick pics. Multiple said matches tried to get them into crypto (?!?!).

For me (busy work schedule, and still spend half my time with kids) the experience was far better than any dates friends or co workers suggested. The profiles are not super deep… Yes everyone loves live music, travel, and The Office. I wanted to connect over something more specific than that. At least the people you match with are also looking for a relationship. Meeting people through my hobbies at 40+ most are in long term relationships or not interested in starting one. The apps are largely superficial… Half the first dates I went on one or both of us decided not to have a second date. Which is honestly expected… Even after filtering through the profiles and messaging in app you still only know the basics for most people.

For you specifically: many matches took issue with the recent timing of my divorce. If you’re separated (not divorced) expect that to be a deal breaker for many.

The odds of your iPhone pics standing out are slim unless you’re rocking a speedo packing a hog, ridiculously muscular, or apparently holding a fish?

From my experience; that’s not what women are looking for. At least, not the ones I ended up matching & later talking about the dating app experience; but then I matched without any of those types of photos… so there’s selection bias in my sample. I did encounter a number of women mentioning the ubiquitous “fish pic” and though it was strange. I guess if you like fishing as a hobby that’s fine; but I don’t notice that many single men when I’m fishing. As a response I would send them a selfie holding up my kids’ “fish” bath toys and that always got a laugh :)

A lot of negative comments. I went through a divorce last year (male, mid 40s), and used dating apps when I was ready to start meeting people. I was apprehensive going in but ended up shocked by how positive the results were. After a week or two I would have several matches and pause searching while I talked with those and planned in-person meetings. Most profiles you’ll never get a reply. Of those you match again, half likely never respond to initial introductions / questions. But, if you live in a major metro area there’s still plenty of people looking for relationships if you’re willing to filter through that. I’m now happily in a relationship for the past few months so I’ve stopped using these apps.

I tried 3: eHarmony, hinge, and bumble. Here’s my feedback from best to worse.

Hinge: encourages discussion as an initial match prompt. I met the most people on this app and many matches led to in person dates. Met the person I’m currently dating seriously on here.

Bumble: costs money to send a comment / question, free to “just swipe”. Kept showing me profiles for people currently within my search distance, but who have listed another major city as their home (I guess they’re connecting through the airport and on the app?). Went on multiple dates with matches, fewer than hinge.

eHarmony: where I originally met my previous wife ~20 years ago. Now had the fewest matches and worst experience (and highest cost). I stopped checking this one after about a month. Went on only 1 date.

Feedback from my matches about the app: many men are using it to find people to cheat with / aren’t serious about a relationship. All of them told me actually holding a conversation on the app put me in the “top tier” of their matches. Many shared that matches just gave super short answers then asked for a phone number. Several noted that half the time they shared a number they almost immediately received dick pics. Multiple said matches tried to get them into crypto (?!?!).

For me (busy work schedule, and still spend half my time with kids) the experience was far better than any dates friends or co workers suggested. The profiles are not super deep… Yes everyone loves live music, travel, and The Office. I wanted to connect over something more specific than that. At least the people you match with are also looking for a relationship. Meeting people through my hobbies at 40+ most are in long term relationships or not interested in starting one. The apps are largely superficial… Half the first dates I went on one or both of us decided not to have a second date. Which is honestly expected… Even after filtering through the profiles and messaging in app you still only know the basics for most people.

For you specifically: many matches took issue with the recent timing of my divorce. If you’re separated (not divorced) expect that to be a deal breaker for many.

No need for a meme. Just say happy mother’s day. A personal anecdote will mean more… Give one example of why you think they’re a great mother.

I have a few close friends who are mothers I sent a note today. If you’re close enough you’d wish them a happy birthday it’d be kind to do the same on any other holiday that applies. And ultimately this is all about being nice to people you care about. If it would make their day a little bit better: do it!

The same applies for days that aren’t holidays too … This is part of how you make and maintain friendships. Send a nice message every once in a while just to let them know they matter to you and you think highly about them. People love to hear others appreciate them. They’re more likely to do the same back if you do, and I always find it uplifting to get a random compliment from a friend.

Music videos! Bingeing some of the live sessions posted by artists is a healthier time sink than most everything else on YouTube.