Are you not photosynthesizing through your asshole?

Ive lost 4 kgs in a month and I’m feeling better than I ever! Can you believe I’m only 26?

Was gonna quote trainspotting, but realized it’s scots.

Tommy: Doesn’t it make you proud to be Scottish?

Mark “Rent-boy” Renton: It’s SHITE being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low. The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some hate the English. I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are COLONIZED by wankers. Can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized BY. We’re ruled by effete arseholes. It’s a SHITE state of affairs to be in, Tommy, and ALL the fresh air in the world won’t make any fucking difference!

Lol, y’all dont know about drag. This is peak efficiency. He’s cutting through the air; sometimes punching.

I have a coworker who always chooses me if she needs help or has to work with someone. I asked her why, hoping it wasn’t a romantic reason. She said because I don’t do a lot of small talk, I listen to her info dumps without cutting her off, unless it’s questions to clarify, and I don’t talk just to fill the silence. Basically she’s comfortable being herself around me.

Me with ADD:

3 inch pipe? I saw that movie… well parts

Buy a ThinkPad, download Wikipedia, print as many books as you can, spend 6 months binding those books, die from dysentery or almost starve to death in winter.

This is also my retirement plan.

I mean, Heat is praised for its sound design, but I can still hear the crunch… Oh god, the crunch.

1st and second season: haha, oh orel

3rd :

Lol, I got yelled at for wasting time cause I went back down to get a scrap piece of board and some knee pads. After really slowing down an hour in, he went down and did the same. What’s the point of buying stuff that helps you work easier and faster if you’re not gonna use it?

Practically cotton candy

Seems like whittling or sanding down a piece of branch might work in a pinch just to see if you like it.

Lol, I’d call the cops that someone is parked in my driveway and pointing what looks like a gun at passing cars. Let them figure it out. I’m sure I’d be harrassed and targeted afterwards though.

Nah, I’ll just take a tiny hit of meth. It will either work or I’ll have the whole place clean. Win win.

It’s small breaded chicken strips, fried, with a wings sauce.

I’ve been working on my hand writing, and these kids can’t read cursive. I worked real hard and my young coworkers were like bart.Bart. I developed my own short hand during college. My notes might as well be encrypted. I can’t be old! I’m still with it!

You mean this guy isn’t the embodiment of peak health? Asshole can’t even drink water from a bottle without 2 hands and a pause

Ribs are what 4 or 5 hrs? Why did he start right before going to sleep?

The way he delivered that line was Oscar worthy.

I’ve had some shitty jobs, but following a geriatric obese man huff and puff his way around a golf course only for him to be horrible at it. I’d let the shooter fire first then make a move.

You arent aware how best vegetable aggressively grows, with or without your help?

Goddamn eldritch horror, but don’t worry. I still manage to kill them somehow. Like othera have said, you’re gonna need to cover it in soil.