entire hog carcass

Oh no, you’re getting select cuts of offal and skin and water retention agents.

Are the bots testing currently? It just seems like the silliest, least consequential nonsense being posted by them

You nailed my current distro like an unattended canine in front of a cheap restaurant!

Just grilled beside the meat burgers at like 650ish. I’d never choose to eat it again, personally. Not just because of the texture, but the salt. I can’t use my salted burger spice mixes on a patty so pre-laden with salt. I usually make mushroom burgers instead. Certainly better for my blood pressure

I can’t eat bread anymore, but the egg wash on that dog’s face would inevitably compel me to take a bite. That’s a good looking dog face

I sound like someone who enjoys writing hyperbole.

But to continue the bit a bit more, you sound like someone who serves subpar food near cherished pets.

impossible burger

I’d rather kick a dog to death than eat one of these monstrosities. A creamy center is the sort of debasement that no one deserves to experience in their burger. I understand that not everyone shares my opinion, and I can accept that they are so fundamentally wrong that they should not be considered human. It is not just acceptable, it is a moral imperative to excise these subhumans from the our cities.

Mushroom, red bean, and grain burgers are the right choice.

reuploaded their gif for you

I feel I need to be able to understand what a worthwhile prank looks like to you, in order to understand what you mean by that

Big bird’s mouth is one of like 3 hard surfaces on a muppet’s body. Everyone has the eyes, but big bird has a stiff, hunter’s peck. If I had more time, I’d write a snippet on it

If I have some free time, I’ll follow them to their destination and knock on their window before they manage to slip away, and then apologize. Many seem like they’re in a hurry, despite just arriving, so I’ll just shout out my apology as I knock on their window. Depending on how bad I felt, I might try to repeat the apology next week, seeing whether I can find them on the road or their destination at the same time

Genuinely, I believe this originates from their family preventing them from filling up on bread at restaurants.

By that token, condoms and period gear should be carefully disposed of. Sororities, filled with young women with partly synced menstrual cycles, present a particular danger.

To be fair, the entirety of the staff is Hispanic.

I do the same thing. Enduring and expanding upon the intrusions until you can line the frame with flesh was the way I finally managed to make use of my personal oddities. Don’t fear articulating and affirming for your own benefit!

Although it took years of active observation and desire and effort to finally wind my way to the low plateau I’ve found

That’s also sweet. I know I’d have had a difficult time controlling myself at different points. Thank you for maintaining the positivity

10000 wasps? No. No, thank you.

10000 bees?? Were I a betting man, I would bet against a positive outcome. But I’m not a betting man, I’m a curious lover. And to be honest, I don’t know where that factors into this life altering decision

That’s very sweet. And probably a little too generous. Thank you!

https://sh.itjust.works/post/39593723/19042480

https://sh.itjust.works/post/42175192/19772185

Here are two that I enjoyed writing. Though they’re a bit more grim and severely benefit from reading the original post as well. I just wish I could link without it going to my instance. Bleh

I like writing short stories for fun, and sometimes I write what comes to me on Lemmy. Though lemmy rarely cares for it, outside of !greentext@sh.itjust.works. Thank you for the kind praise!