For me it felt like an uncomfortably mild head high. Some slight anxiety spikes, mild SI, quicker to anger.

I must insist than you never tear yourself down in my presence again.

Until you can’t what?!?

Hmm, interesting what you said about misattributing the euphoria to the event and not the drug. That terrifies me that all events with alcohol are actually some kind of mass torture method that we need poison (ironically) to get through. That kind of sounds like hell lol.

I thought about propranolol, but saw that it was a beta blocker and decided not to risk it in case I had some heart thing. Wasn’t crazy about the warning that if you stop taking it suddenly, there could be serious side effects. I’m sure that’s only if you take it regularly, but I don’t want to chance it.

I keep thinking that it’s not socially acceptable to remove yourself and limit exposure, but then I remember that it’s the people in my life who see full immersion as normal and a requirement. Maybe I’ll try a stimming toy and see if I feel different. Like one other person said, having a role/job at an event or anywhere always takes some edge off. You ever hear of Kanna?

Yeah, I get that as well. I think most people have some kind of sensory ick. Mine is definitely overstimulation in a public environment. Sure, some drugs are not good for that type of problem, but others are. Not that I am condoning drugs as a necessary solution.

Have you found any methods for coping with the system overload?

As for the edit, I am trying to remain self aware and non opinionated. Hopefully my ratio improves. I am a pleaser haha.

I hate being seen as well. The worst thing is when someone sees me having fun, though. I don’t think it’s a problem to hate socializing at events where there’s not much of anything going on. That’s easy to get sick of.

As long as there’s some desire to do your hobbies and maybe once in a while do them with people who you’re close with, I see no problem.

I hosted an in person meet up of strangers today for 3 hours. You have to work it like a muscle. Also, drugs help.

I am very much like this, though. You have to want it enough. How do you want it, you ask? Dopamine detox.

Edit: I just realized I posted this useless advice to the autism community. This probably will work for socially awkward shut ins, not autistic people. Sorry for the confusion.

You should really think about penis reduction surgery.